[And Now] Your Imaginary Funeral

when you’re dead [you know]
one thing’s for damn sure
it’s not going to be “Mr. You” anymore
it’s going to be  [he], [she], [it] all the way down
and there’s going to be a funeral
[don’t say you haven’t imagined it]
and at that funeral you’re [more or less] the host
planted  [in the lobby of some drive-by Holiday Inn]
greeting people as they come in
assuring everyone [that everything’s] okay

but wait []
at your imaginary funeral you’re dead {…}
so instead there’s really [nothing] to do
and so far [everything’s going pretty well]
and remember that secret you wanted to take with you to the grave?
well it looks like you finally made it
[except for that stuff in your second desk drawer]
which will eventually turn up
but forget about it
[what does it matter] it’s all good

I mean
who likes waking up anyway [?]
[going to work] [hatching some little plot]
[going out to lunch] thinking of something to say
[dinner in silence] and [a couple of shows] then sleep
[isn’t that what we’re talking about] and then
it starts all over again

no wonder the Buddha and all those ancient gurus
were always trying to [you know] liberate themselves
from the eternal cycle of birth and rebirth

at you’re imaginary funeral you’re thinking
maybe next time [I’ll get a better role]
move up the [food chain] you don’t need to be the star
you’d be happy with “Best Supporting Actor” hell
you might even get your own [show!]
but [at your imaginary funeral] you’re dead {…}
so [in your imaginary casket] you’re really just all eyes up
and appearing [rather flat]
when some half-remembered neighbor
[who seems to have forgotten how to tie his tie]
comes up [a dab of powdered sugar on his whiskers]
and looks into your imaginary box
and [with the inquisitive eyes of a dentist] asks:
"so tell me, what it’s like down there?"

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